Bigger Girl

  Yes I'm a "bigger girl" but every pound on my body is part of my story. It tells of my fight, my struggle, my life!
  When I was 18 I was diagnosed with hashimoto's thyroiditis and that's where my journey and struggled began! I had always been the girl who was "too skinny" and so gaining so much weight was hard. I didn't have much self-esteem before that, but when I started gaining weight, I lost every ounce I had left. Not only was I dealing with that, I was suffering from a disease called Trichotillomania so I was wearing wigs as well.
  Every morning was the hardest struggle. I couldn't look myself in the mirror without bursting into tears and wishing I could die. There were times where I truly believed being dead was much better than the hell I was living in!
  Everyday watching stretch marks form, or grow, watching pants and shirts no longer fit, watching the numbers on the scale rise, was heartbreaking! I felt like I wasn't even living anymore, just surviving, but barely.
  At about 20 my body finally started getting use to everything and my weight and stuff plateaued and I felt like I had some control again! I had my real hair back and that helped my self-esteem somewhat! But the weight was still there and that was hard.
  At 21, almost 22, I started planning my wedding and the thought of having to wear a plus size wedding dress was so hard! I especially had a hard time when I was told the dress I wanted wasn't in my size and we had no time to order a new one. I was going to have to lose weight. Somehow I was able to lose the weight I needed to to fit in my dress! But not long after the wedding the weight came back. I was devastated.
  Earlier this year, at 22, I finally came to terms with the fact that I will probably always be a bigger girl and I'd never be that super skinny girl again. And I was ok with it, I'd own the body God gave me.
  Then finally this July I received a phone call I never thought I'd receive. I was told my thyroid had gone back to normal! I was shocked! Suddenly the weight was just falling off! And I felt amazing in every way possible! :) But unfortunately just last week I received another phone call, one I never wanted. I was told my thyroid was under active again. But at least this time I'm prepared and ready!
  My whole reason for writing this is because I keep hearing people calling others FAT! It disgusts me! You never know someones story! You don't know why they are bigger, or what it does to them when you say those harsh things! You never know if what you say is going to be the final straw and push them over the edge! People seriously need to remember to treat others the way they want to be treated! So many people have called me fat, and honestly it rarely affects me anymore, especially when I get told to "Eat a salad and you'll stop being fat!" I am not heavy because of food! But it does bother others! So don't ever assume with anyone! Also, there's never an excuse to be mean! No matter how much you dislike the person!
  I go out of my way to compliment people all the time and it's one of the best feelings in the world! I challenge everyone reading this to go out of their way to compliment at least one person everyday for a week and see how they feel!
  Well I hope you all don't think I'm just rambling. It's been a long week so I'm very tired and my brain is all scrambled. Haha.